Tell Me About it!

So, my girlfriend posted this article on her Facebook page the other night and after I read it, I knew I had to post it here!  Hope you all enjoy it and I would be curious to know what you think!!!  It was posted in the Washington Post...and the reader was writing into Carolyn (kinda like a Dear Abbie question)....




Carolyn:

Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .


Okay. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.




Her response:


Relax and enjoy. You're funny.



Or you're lying about having friends with kids.


Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.


Internet searches?


I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.


So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.



It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.


It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.


It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.


It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.


It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.




Ladies, how true is this :)

Catch up....FINALLY!

So, I had normally wanted to do a huge post with pictures, but I don't have the time :)

Here are a few updates!

This girl is now "6" years old!

Wow...

This little boy is almost "3"

Double WOW....

We miss these two boys...

Deacon

and Connor :)

Thank goodness for Skype!

We can't wait to spend weekends at the

beach and eating at Mo's!

Taylor Swift is played in the car

24/7!  Brogan knows the words to pretty

much all her songs :)

I really, really, really want this SUV :)

Was told I could have it, when I go back to work....

Needless to say, I've started looking for a job!

Picture take #1

Picture take #2

Picture take #3

I GAVE UP!

And I'm back...

We got our computer fixed tonight....So, I will be working on updating our blog in the next week or so!

Wooohooo....

Quote #4

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…" (1 John 4:18, NIV)

(love this verse)

Catch up...without pictures :(

~Our computer is still down. We are thinking of getting a new one. This is our 2 laptop and it crashed just like the first one. So, a desktop is my next choice :)

~Christmas was spent in Indiana with my family. 21 days....21 long days...but, we had F-U-N!!! Lots and lots and lots of cousin time! I have plenty of pictures to show you all, when I get a chance to! We are now back to reality. It took us a week to get over our jet-lag.

~Brogan went back to school. He missed Maddox and Kolbi. I'm sure he missed the others, but those are the two he talks about all the time! I'm back in school. It sucked missing so much school, but I'm back in the groove and almost done with another term!! Hoping to start looking for a job soon!

~Kendall is one little smart girl! School is going sooo good for her and I can just tell how much she is learning and how smart she is becoming. She cut her hair all off. I will post a picture soon! Her brother misses her soooo much when she isn't around. It's hard for me, cause he loves her so much. When she is at our house, he just follows her around and she gets to bossey with him...and he could pretty much care less ;) I LOVE IT!

I will update soon with all the pictures from the past 2 months!

Life...

Life is sometimes just busy...and it can be very overwhelming and that is what I'm feeling right now...OVERWHELMED! I will give you some examples of why it is....

Our laptop crashed and our life hasnt been the same since...or wait, mine hasn't! Seriously, what did I do before email, facebook, my recipe websites, my friends blog, people.com, usmagazine.com...how did I get my gossip before?

The past couple months have been very rough on my emotionally...I miss my family ALOT. I miss that they are missing out on Brogan growing up, I miss that he doesn't get to spend the night there, like his cousins do, I miss that my Nanny is getting older and we are thousands of miles away...There isn't a day that doesn't go bye, that I don't think about what life would be if we were in Indiana? But, the truth of the matter is....we are here, in Oregon...our life is here in Oregon...our friends are here in Oregon...Allan's job is here in Oregon...I'm not sure if I could live back in Indiana again...But, right now....I want to be in Indiana...I want my Mom to cook for me, I want Brogan to play with his cousins, I want to spend time with my cousins (who are growing up soooo fast), I want Brogan to know his Nanny and his Grandma and Grandpa Reed, I want him to play in the snow. I want him to play on the floor with his Papa...I could go on and on...

December is a VERY hard month for me...VERY. I don't think I can describe it to anyone or explain where anyone could understand it. I struggle with Dec. 8. I struggle with Jan. 19. I struggle with the whole situation over and over...It always starts right before Thanksgiving and it doesn't go away for a while...I don't sleep, I have horrible dreams, I have anxiety issues and now since Brogan has been born, I become a mother who becomes OVER protective of him over night...but, eventually it goes away....and life goes on. But, for a short period of time....my life is very overwhelming...

School is overwhelming...don't think I need to say that much.

Money is overwhelming...We have made big changes in our finances, so that I can stay home with Brogan during the day. We have cut back on alot of things...which is fine! I'm learning that life isn't about material things...I have my health, my friends, my family and a healthy child! But, just when life gets back on track...BAM...something else happens! We are thinking of making a bigger change here soon...More on that later....

Love is overwhelming...I want Brogan to have EVERYTHING. I want him to be that kid who has everything, I don't want him to ever feel left out. My parents did everything for us and they still do. I want that for Brogan. I want to smother him everyday with everything. I have a hard time saying NO to him....I'm having a hard time with the fact that he doesnt need a train table, kitchen, dinosaurs, and everything else I want to get him for Christmas...but, I love him and I want him to have the best things in life...but, I'm learning that "love" is the best thing you can give him...and boy do I love that little man.

Relationships our overwhelming....and they are work...and they are challenging...and it's hard.

Life is just overwhelming....

Pumpkin Patch

An attempt at a "family" pic...
Brogan and Allan

Brogan and Hunter...Buddies!

Maddy, Halli and Kendall

Yeah this is a little late...but, it's been a crazy month or so...We took the kids out to Lone Pine Farms to get pumpkins this year, this actually a tradition we have started! Its was a beautiful day and we had alot of fun. My BFF Sarah and her kids joined us...and as always, we had a great time!